Monday, October 02, 2006

So...I've finished writing the testimony! *big smiles* Praise God! I was cringing as I was writing it! EEEEEE! >.< Thank you AuntJess for the chance to share the testimony and the chance which made me sit down and write of His goodness in my life. :) Will be sharing it on the 13th Oct Friday event. :) Pray for it!

I've been reading 2 new blogs lately and one of them makes me feel *small* and *stupid*. I guess perhaps it's his style of writing that makes me feel *stupid*. The writer of that blog uses a lot of words that people rarely use in writing or in speech. I found myself struggling to recall what those words meant as I came across them. :P The other blog is a lighter read but in no way less cerebral. It didn't make me feel *small* and/or *stupid*. *grins*

This whole making me feel *small* and/or *stupid* thing has to do with my low self-esteem, of course. I'm trying, bit by bit, moment by moment, by the grace and love of God, to deal with it actively, rather than wait for the healthy amount of self-esteem to drop on me like a tonne of bricks. :P (*Mental note to self: I am loved. I matter. I'm not *small* or *stupid* just coz some guy uses big words in his writing!)

By the grace of God, Hallelujah! *sprinkles confetti*, I graduated from the Disciple class. When I missed the retreat in June, I thought I had flunked out of the class and had been quietly kicking myself (very hard!) in the butt...I had chosen a relationship with a non-believer over the Disciple class which I had conscientiously committed myself to.

I was feeling a little upset before I went to church today and shared with Liwei and Carol before we got out of the car to walk to church. The very sweet sisters of mine prayed for me and offered to hold my hand as the graduands went up to receive their certificates.

When we got to church and I looked at the list of graduands for the Disciple class Adrian was leading, I saw my name...I made the 70% attendance mark...I passed. I cried. God is so good...Even when I was faithless, He remained faithful. Thank You Jesus...*cries*

Countdown to retreat! Keep praying! God listens to our prayers and will honor them!

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swirly twirly me ~ *~*butterfly*~* ~
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